Telling the girls

Schaun called after he left the Vet's office this morning. I had to excuse myself from the classroom and have a small breakdown in the hall. I collected myself and returned to work the rest of the morning. I knew that I had to go home--with Becca. So I decided to stall. We went to Costco before heading home. I figured that might wear her out and she might drop straight to the sofa--no questions. Actually, I didn't think she would notice anyway, but I wanted to wait for Bridget to get home. When she did, I sat them down and told them I had some bad news.

Bridget knew right away. She said " Did Belle die?" I told them that she had. Bridget didn't react quickly, she said well we still have two dogs. Becca burst into hysterical crying. I held Becca for a few minutes and I looked at Bridget. She had tears running down her face. So we all sat and cried, hugging each other. Becca said she didn't want Belle to die. I told them that she was hurting a lot and she was better now. Bridget said that at least she wasn't alone--she would be with Ice, Stinky, and Gramma Kathy's pets. Bridget said she was such a good dog and never bothered the other pets (the gerbils and guinea pigs that the others dogs torment). Then Bridget started to cry even harder.

My sweet, sweet girl said "What will we tell Daddy? He loved Belle so much!"
Thru my blubbering I assured her that Daddy already knew. She loves her Daddy so much. She always worries about him.

Becca said something about touching Belle last night and hurting her. Bridget added that Becca stepped on Belle's foot and almost fell on her last night and that is when Belle yelped. I promised them that Belle was sick, she had a very bad disease and that they didn't cause her to die.

Then we all just cuddled together for a long time. I'm sure that Becca is going to have a lot more thoughts on this. She tends to think about things for days and comes up with statements or questions that reflect the thoughts later.

It is Becca that still talks about Ice all the time. She pretends to be a cat when she plays. It is bittersweet as I miss my little cat, but I'm glad other remember her too. She talks and shows her thoughts. Bridget does things like make drawings of Ice and Stinky in Heaven.

--Just a side, sort of funny note about Stinky. Bridget was not quite two and I was pregnant with Becca when Stinky died. I doubt she remembers the dog really. But we have this little Yorkie statue. I told Bridget once that we have it because it looked just like Stinky. So the girls sort of treat this statue like a dog they know.

So I was thinking my email {thetwobelles} isn't very relavant now, but I won't be changing it.